Dating when you work FIFO or rotating shifts

Rosters make dating harder in specific, predictable ways. You're away when everyone else is free, home when they're at work, and wrecked on the first day off when you finally have time. The phone works at camp but not on the job. Night shift turns dinner into breakfast.

All of that is workable. What doesn't work is pretending your life runs on a nine-to-five until someone has already planned a Friday night around you.

What FIFO and roster terms mean to someone who's never done it

FIFO, or fly-in fly-out, means living in one place and flying to a remote work site, usually a mine, gas project or offshore platform, for a block of shifts before flying home. DIDO (drive-in drive-out) is the same idea by road. A "swing" is one block on site, and the roster is written as time on to time off.

If your match didn't grow up around it, a quick translation saves confusion:

These are examples of how rosters are written, not a list of what every site uses. Yours is the one that matters, so explain it.

Say it early, and explain what it means

Mention your roster in your profile or the first few messages, then explain your version in plain terms. To someone who has never done it, "I work FIFO" can sound like "I'm never around". To someone from a mining town, it's just a job. An example of how you might put it:

"I'm on a two-on, one-off roster at a mine site. When I'm away I can usually message in the evenings. When I'm home, I've got a full week and I like to use it."

That tells a match three useful things: when they'll hear from you, when they'll see you, and that you've thought about it. Change the details to fit your own roster.

One caution: describe the pattern, not the dates. "Home every third week" is fine. "Away 3rd to 17th" tells strangers exactly when your place is empty. Our guide to keeping your dating life private in a small town covers the other details worth holding back.

Staying in touch while you're on site

The short answer: promise less contact than you think you can manage, then keep it. Camp wi-fi, twelve-hour shifts and a time difference if you fly across the country don't leave much room for long conversations.

• A short daily message at a time you can actually manage, like after dinner at camp.
• One or two set calls a week, on nights you know you'll have signal and some energy.
• No scorekeeping. If one of you misses a day because of a long shift, it isn't a sign of anything.
• Warn them about dead zones. If a swing takes you somewhere with patchy coverage, say so before you go quiet.

Reading and replying to messages on Oasis Singles needs a paid membership, and memberships renew automatically until you cancel in Settings > Billing. If you're heading back to site with little coverage, check when yours renews so you're not paying for a fortnight you can't use. Prices has the current options.

Planning dates around your break

Put first dates in the middle of your break, not on day one. The first day home is for sleep, laundry and remembering what your own couch feels like.

1. Share your next break as soon as the roster is out. Give the other person a chance to plan too.
2. Pick a mid-break day. You're rested and not yet thinking about flying out.
3. Go for daytime if you've been on nights. A late breakfast, a swim or a walk beats a dinner you'll struggle to stay awake through.
4. Leave room for a second date in the same break. If the first one goes well, waiting three weeks for the next can stall things.

For ideas that don't involve sitting in a bar, see our active date ideas.

When the roster changes on you

Rosters get extended, shutdowns run over and flights get moved. When it happens, tell the other person as soon as you know, say what you know and what you don't, and offer the next realistic date. "My swing's been extended by four days, I'll know my flight on Thursday, can we move it to the Saturday after?" is far better than going quiet. One change is life on a roster. A pattern of last-minute cancellations, from either side, is worth talking about honestly.

Dating someone who works FIFO or shifts

If you're the one at home, go in with your eyes open about the weeks apart.

• You need your own life. People who do well with a FIFO partner tend to have their own friends, sport and plans for the weeks apart.
• Ask about the roster, not just the job. How long are swings? Are they often extended? Do breaks change at short notice?
• Talk about the hard bits early. Missed birthdays, school events, a long weekend you'll spend solo. Better to discuss them now than resent them later.
• Expect a changeover. The first day home and the day before flying out can feel different. Many couples learn to plan around both.
• Watch how they handle the gaps. Someone who stays in touch when it's inconvenient is showing you something good.

If the distance between your homes is part of the picture too, our guide to long-distance dating in regional Australia covers sharing the travel, and moving town for a relationship helps if one of you ends up relocating to be nearer the airport or the other's home.

"I'm working on a rig, I can't video call": the scam version

Remote work is one of the most common cover stories in romance scams, and FIFO workers and their would-be partners should both know it. The National Anti-Scam Centre lists working overseas, military service and sudden travel restrictions among the reasons scammers give for not meeting. NT Consumer Affairs warns about people who claim to work in remote areas or as military personnel to excuse being hard to reach, and Victoria Police warns about people who cite overseas or interstate work.

Scamwatch also lists a push to move the chat to another app, and requests for money, gift cards or crypto, as warning signs. Our romance scams guide explains what to do if it's already gone that far.

Looking after yourself on a roster

Long swings, broken sleep and time away from friends can take a toll, and a relationship going badly can land harder when you're stuck at camp with nobody to talk to. Keep in touch with mates as well as dates, and use the support your workplace offers if it has one. If you need someone to talk to, Lifeline is on 13 11 14 and Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36.

Getting started

Oasis Singles is for regional Australians, including people whose weeks don't look like everyone else's. Joining, setting up a profile and browsing are free, so you can set up while you're home and decide later whether to pay to read and reply to messages. How it works explains the rest, and our safety page covers first dates.